God Save The Queen!

Thy vile canker-blossom'd countenance curdles milk and sours beer! Ok, I didn't look that bad. I never thought it would happen, but I attended my very first renaissance faire this weekend. What an experience it was! My fair maiden and fellow peasant, Maiden Sig, invited Lady Dinah and myself to Willingtown, a little village in England, for a day of merriment! The three of us cheered on the Queen, listened to the siloquies of Sir William Shakespeare, dined on turkey legs and bangers, and bardered with merchants for ale, incense, and devil's horns. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, so a two minute clip of video at 24 frames per second will bring nearly 3 million words to all ye lords, ladies, and wenches to enjoy!

Double Stuff Racing League

Labor Day really threw me for a loop. All day yesterday, I thought it was Monday and today it felt like Tuesday. The calendar and clock have shifted in my head and, in a way, I feel like I am jetlagged but minus the need for sleep. To top everything off, it's been a hectic week in sports with the US Opening happening and the NFL season starting up.

I've spent the past few days watching my favorite tennis players duke it out while researching my picks for the upcoming fantasy football season. The bad news is that my girls, the Williams Sisters, had to square off against each other in the quarterfinals (younger sis Serena narrowly beat Venus), but the good news is that I got Peyton Manning as my quarterback! So in honor of Serena advancing to the semifinals and Peyton ending up on my roster, as well as Venus taking the Wimbledon title and Peyton's kid bro Eli winning the Superbowl, I am posting my newest favorite commercial. This Oreo ad is genius. The Williams Sisters and the Manning Brothers all on one stage. Genius.

Stoned Again?

Uh Oh. Am I getting another unwelcomed visit from Mr. Kidney Stone? It's highly probable. I spent the whole night hacking up a spleen and now there's a sharp pain on my right side. If I am getting a blast from past, then I will provide my readers with my very own blast from the past. Most of you have probably already seen "Stoned," my 4 minute tale of internal physiological pain and how it affects the mind. This is actually my favorite piece so I don't mind showing it again and again. I'm in pain, give me a break...

It is My Sister's Birthday

Last fall, I took Evan Donn's Digital Workflow class, and my first assignment was to make a 48HFP-esque project. The genre that I pulled was film de femme, the character was Becky a bull rider, the prop was a fan, and the line of dialogue was "I love you long time." I scratched this my head trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do. Inspiration finally hit me when I flipped through the old family photo albums. If you haven't seen this video clip about my film de femme sister yet, check it out. Oh another thing, wish the girl a happy birthday.

3G

Eager Buyers Line Up For iPhone 3G
By Jefferson Graham, USA TODAY

Here we go again. Friday is iPhone 3G day across the globe. Lines had already formed Thursday at some Apple Stores, including New York and San Francisco, where hard-core fans wanted to be first on the block with the new iPhone when it went on sale at 8 a.m. at Apple (AAPL) and AT&T (T) stores in the USA.

"It's ironic," said Kelly Croy, a Ohio middle school teacher who picked up his new iPhone on Friday. "I was waiting on line to get my iPhone last year, and this year I'm still waiting — but at home." Croy said he was "very surprised and disappointed Apple didn't anticipate this."

Lines extended around the block Friday morning at Apple's 5th Avenue store in Manhattan. Piper Jaffray analyst Gene Munster counted 540 people on line, slightly below the throngs who queued up at the same location to purchase the first iPhones last year.

"It does feel like there's less buzz," Munster said.

But as the day wore on and customers waited to have their phones activated, lines in some locations grew longer than during last year's iPhone launch. Customers were waiting in line for five hours at he Apple Store at the Los Angeles Grove shopping center, for example; customers were waiting up to six hours at the Century City Los Angeles Apple Store.

Apple has sold 6 million first-generation iPhones since the launch slightly more than a year ago. The new version is cheaper — $199, from an original $599 — and accesses the Internet faster over partner AT&T's speedier, third-generation network.

Munster predicts that Apple will have a big opening weekend with sales of 450,000 phones worldwide in the next three days. That compares with 320,000 sold on the iPhone's first weekend in June 2007.

Apple's new online App Store — with about 500 new programs for the iPhone and iPod Touch — opened earlier than expected Thursday morning. For Apple, the bigger impact of the new release will be felt in other countries, say tech analysts. The iPhone is set to launch in 17 new countries, with 70 total by the end of the year.

"Right now, in the U.S., Apple has access to 70 million AT&T subscribers," says Charles Wolf, an analyst with Needham & Co. "But the carriers abroad bring it to north of 700 million subscribers. The numbers suggest that international sales could far exceed U.S. sales."

Munster says this launch won't be as big an event in the USA as last year's. "But globally, you've got so many countries … this is really huge for Apple," he says. Consumers in Canada and Mexico got access to the iPhone for the first time Friday. Lines had formed at Apple Stores in such places as New Zealand and Japan. In New Zealand, the iPhone sells for more than $400. In Japan, Italy and Hong Kong, the phone sells for around $300.

By Friday morning, the line at the Softbank Corp. store in Tokyo had grown to more than 1,000 people, and the phone quickly sold out."Just look at this obviously innovative design," Yuki Kurita, 23, said as he emerged from buying his iPhone, carrying bags of clothing and a skateboard he had used as a chair during his wait outside the Tokyo store. "I am so thrilled just thinking about how I get to touch this."

While the iPhone is less expensive in the USA than it had been, consumers will spend more in the long run. Beyond phone charges, users need a data plan to access the Internet, and exclusive carrier AT&T has raised the price of that to $30 from $20 a month.

"People will use a lot more data" with the faster speed of the iPhone, "so that's fair," says Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Meanwhile, despite all the hype for the iPhone, and raves from critics, Wolf says sales of the first-generation iPhone have been a disappointment. "It's been more talk than substance," he says. "I thought they'd sell a lot more phones." Wolf had expected sales of 8 million phones to date, instead of the 6 million Apple has reported.

But with a lower price in the USA and faster speeds, Wolf thinks Apple will see dramatic sales increases. He predicts sales of 8 million this year, growing to 29 million in 2009, which he says will make substantial contributions to Apple's bottom line.

Dormez-Vous?

The Vegas strip heats up as the innocent young girl enters the hotel, and the older gentleman takes her hand...

Featherweight Blues: The Sequel?

I never ever thought I would follow boxing, but ever since my little musical about a featherweight boxer on a losing streak called "Featherweight Blues," I've been more cognizant of this sport in the news. Sure enough, controversy erupted in Mandalay Bay when referee a made a questionable call. This news has inspired me to make a Featherweight Blues sequel. I'm going to start brainstorming. I wonder if Jeremy Marquez will come back for part two. He's a huge star now, so I may have to get him a bigger dressing room.



Who's Sorry Now?
By Kevin Iole, Yahoo! Sports
9 hours, 32 minutes ago

LAS VEGAS – Francisco Lorenzo’s actions at the end of his fight at the Mandalay Bay Events Center with Humberto Soto on Saturday were cowardly, revolting and disgusting. That means little, though, because he did the one thing he was required to do to claim the interim WBC super featherweight title: He won. Specifically, he won by disqualification with an acting job the likes of which haven’t been seen since Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets” in 1997, but the point is, he won. And, because he won, he should have been presented with the green WBC belt as its champion.

The WBC, though, opted to ignore the official verdict, however tainted it may be, and declared the title vacant." “After watching the instant replay, I believe that there is no one in the world not thinking that a disqualification was one of the greatest mistakes ever in boxing,” WBC president Jose Sulaiman said.

Now, it’s easy to understand why the WBC wouldn’t want Lorenzo as its titleholder. The last four men to hold the belt – Manny Pacquiao, Juan Manuel Marquez, Marco Antonio Barrera and Erik Morales, are all headed to the Hall of Fame. Previous WBC super featherweight champions like Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Julio Cesar Chavez are locks for the Hall, too. Champions such as Alexis Arguello and Azumah Nelson are already enshrined.

It’s hard to imagine Lorenzo standing shoulder to shoulder with men like that. He was beaten like a rag doll and clearly overmatched by Soto, who was on the verge of one of his most impressive knockouts. Soto never got that knockout, though, as a mistake by referee Joe Cortez started a bizarre sequence that resulted in Lorenzo feigning a head injury so as to win a fight he was about to lose.

Lorenzo had been knocked down once in the fourth round and was on the verge of going out as Soto pursued him into a corner. As Soto moved in for the kill, Cortez jumped between the fighters, apparently to stop the fight. “It was definitely a mistake and Joe acknowledges that,” said Keith Kizer, the executive director of the Nevada Athletic Commission.

Cortez almost as quickly backed away, though, resulting in momentary confusion and giving Lorenzo a precious few seconds to regain his senses. When Cortez ordered the boxers to continue, Soto threw a series of punches and Lorenzo voluntarily went to a knee. As Cortez moved in to begin the count, Soto threw a right uppercut which missed and then a left that landed on the back of Lorenzo’s head. Cortez ruled that Lorenzo was injured from the force of the punch. That is another mistake. Sitting less than 10 feet away, it hardly seemed like more than a swat to the back of the head, not a blow intended to concuss.

HBO’s replays appear to support the contention that it was an inconsequential blow. It was, however, late. And it came with Lorenzo already on the canvas. Soto refused to concede he’d fouled, pointing to the replay that showed him clearly to be incorrect.

“Watch the tape,” Soto said repeatedly. “The punch was already gone (when the referee jumped in).” Unfortunately for Soto, that is not even close to being true. For whatever reason, Soto momentarily lost his self control, an action which cost him a significant victory.

Cortez, who was traveling and could not be reached for comment, ruled that Lorenzo was unable to continue. And so, according to the unified rules, that meant the referee’s only option was to disqualify Soto once Lorenzo was given five minutes to recover and was still unable to fight.

“Had the referee determined that Mr. Lorenzo could have continued, then he would have been ordered to fight (at the end of the five-minute recovery break) and if he said he couldn’t, he would have lost by TKO,” Kizer said.

Lorenzo’s corner was encouraging him to stay down, realizing his best chance to win would be by disqualification. And so Lorenzo, who first took a knee to avoid punishment, went down to the seat of his pants to rest once Cortez told him he had five minutes to recover.

A couple of minutes into that time, Lorenzo laid flat on his back, not moving. He was milking the situation, hoping Cortez would rule he could not continue.

When the bout ended, Soto was apparently unaware of what the ruling was, because he walked to Lorenzo’s corner, pulled him from the floor and embraced him. Lorenzo then sat momentarily on his stool before getting up and parading around the ring with his arms over his head.

It’s galling to have to give a guy a belt who was so thoroughly outclassed and who disgraced himself and his sport by behaving like he did. But the rules are the rules and they can’t only be applied when it’s convenient. "The fight’s promoter, Bob Arum, wholeheartedly supported the WBC’s decision. He was nearly apoplectic when it was suggested to him that the WBC should have given Lorenzo the belt.

“Are you out of your mind?” Arum bellowed. “Of course they shouldn’t have given him the belt. He didn’t win that fight and it would be a disgrace to give him the belt. It’s ludicrous, absolutely ludicrous, to say otherwise.”

Of course, it’s not ludicrous. Upholding an official’s judgment call is a fundamental truth in sports. This was a judgment call by Cortez, however faulty, and it should be upheld. Sulaiman said he wasn’t seeking to overturn the verdict, but did not feel bound by it when it came to awarding the WBC belt.

“While we respect the authority of the (Nevada commission) for a decision of the fight, we are the only ones to have the authority to decide on the decision relating to the WBC world title,” he said.

Cortez had the discretion to rule that the fighter could continue and to penalize Soto two points. That would have been irrelevant, because Soto would have stopped him when the fight resumed and claimed the belt.

But Cortez chose – incorrectly, it says here – to rule that the force of the blow had enough of an impact upon Lorenzo that he was unable to continue. In that situation, he had no choice but to disqualify Soto. Lorenzo doesn’t deserve respect, praise or credit, but he does deserve one thing: The title.

You just wonder if the Mexican-based WBC would have made the same ruling had it been Soto, a native of Mexico, who had been fouled and won by disqualification, and not Lorenzo, a Dominican. As it is, Lorenzo got the victory but not the belt. And that is as much a travesty as Lorenzo’s bad acting was.

The Viking

One of the most shocking moments of my life occurred back in 2004 when an unexpected package arrived at my place of employment. I remember being in a meeting with our corporate archivist when I heard that knock on the conference room door. I looked up from my notes and in walked a viking. Yes, a viking. A rubenesque Nordic viking warrior complete with the horned helmet, chained hauberk, and armaments. I was baffled at first, but when this viking let out a shriek that seemed to crescendo louder and louder, I realized what day it was: June 30th. Anything goes on this day, and sure enough, my sister sent me this special delivery.



It's June 30th today, and as I dive into my mid thirties, I'm realizing that I am really happy with my life. When I look back at the time when this singing telegram was delivered, I remember being very unsatisfied with my life. I won't get too deep into it, because it's not really something I want to relive. What I will say is that as I get older, I am liking myself a lot more. The quality of my life has greatly improve this past year, thanks to some decisions to take risks, try new things, and finally letting go of all negative energy. Life is sweet, and I will make sure this upcoming year and every year thereafter will rock.

Oh Susannah!

I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly

My sister Suzie and her family drove down from Washington State for a few days to visit the family. We seldom get to see her and the kids, (Michael and Teresa who are now 19 and 17), so this was definitely a treat. My sister Nathalie and her kids drove up from Fresno so that all the cousins could hang out. It was a mini family reunion. I took Suzie, Michael, and Teresa to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium to check out the marine life. I initially wanted to take them to Santa Cruz, but with all the wild fires spreading in California, I decided against it. My sister Diane tagged along for the ride as well. Unfortunately, Nathalie and her kids didn't make it up to the bay area until late Friday night so they missed out on the aquatic fun.

Since Blogged Arteries: The Unrendered Files is all about the crazy stuff that lurks in my rather large cranium, I am going to post a little video clip that I took at the aquarium. I was very fascinated by the jellyfish exhibit, so I went crazy with the video feature on my Canon PowerShot SD1100 IS. Check it out.

Strippin' Granny

Lynn Ruth Miller had a pretty productive spring. Back in May, she flew to Burbank and Las Vegas to audition for America's Got Talent. This funny old lady made it past a few rounds before getting eliminated. Hey, that's pretty good in my book. Now she's trying out for The Gong Show as the strippin' granny. Lynn Ruth asked me to piece together a clip of her act from the 2007 Edinburgh Festival Fringe, and I did. Check her out. I recommend that you view this on an empty stomach!